Please, No More Tiger Tales!

What I've Learned So Far...

Please, No More Tiger Tales!

Last weekend I spent more time watching the Masters golf tournament on television than I like to admit. I guess I find it strangely comforting to see tanned, handsome, self-assured millionaire touring golf professionals occasionally shank a five iron into a sand trap.

To me the highlight of the weekend was Fred Couples making a serious run for the Green Jacket. I loved this because:

a). He is fifty years old and has more gray hair than I do;
b). His name is "Fred;"
c). In an elite sport where everything a player uses, wears, eats, drinks, or thinks about is computer engineered for maximum performance and endorsement value, this guy was playing the most prestigious tournament in professional golf wearing slip-on boat shoes with no socks.

Also, I found it mildly interesting to see Tiger Woods making his comeback after five months away from competitive golf.

Read On...

Treat yourself to your own personal copy of What I've Learned So Far... Part I: Bikes, Docks & Slush Nuggets. It's like owning a leather-bound first edition of The Complete Works of Shakespeare, only in paperback and a lot funnier.

If you enjoy What I've Learned So Far... and would like to see it in your local paper, just send the editor an impassioned plea and this link to my Web site.

Also, chase all your friends on over to my Web site to Subscribe (it's FREE!), so they can enjoy it too! They'll thank you, and so will I.

- mike


Mike Ball

Author of What I've Learned So Far...
Winner of the 2003 Erma Bombeck Award

Web: whativelearnedsofar.com
E-mail: mike@whativelearnedsofar.com

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Ask Dr. Mike - Tofurkey and Lederhosen

What I've Learned So Far...

Ask Dr. Mike - Tofurkey and Lederhosen

We haven't heard from our old friend Dr. Mike in quite a while. For new readers, Dr. Mike is an advice columnist whose main qualification for dispensing life-changing gems of wisdom is his Ph.D. in Melted Crayon Sculpture from the University of Tim Online ($29.95, two for $41.50).

Here is what we found in this week's mail bag:

Dear Dr. Mike,

My wife's cooking is a lot more enthusiastic than it is edible. In fact, after word of her "Liver-Tofurky Casserole Surprise" reached the Pentagon, she was hired as a consultant for the Army's Chemical Warfare Division.

Now she has invited my entire side of the family over to our house for a home-cooked dinner. My question is, could I be held responsible? I mean, isn't luring someone, especially a relative, into a known hazardous situation prosecutable in this state?

Signed,

Maybe I Should Cop A Plea

Read On...

Treat yourself to your own personal copy of What I've Learned So Far... Part I: Bikes, Docks & Slush Nuggets. It's like owning a leather-bound first edition of The Complete Works of Shakespeare, only in paperback and a lot funnier.

If you enjoy What I've Learned So Far... and would like to see it in your local paper, just send the editor an impassioned plea and this link to my Web site.

Also, chase all your friends on over to my Web site to Subscribe (it's FREE!), so they can enjoy it too! They'll thank you, and so will I.

- mike

Mike Ball

Author of What I've Learned So Far...
Winner of the 2003 Erma Bombeck Award

Web: whativelearnedsofar.com
E-mail: mike@whativelearnedsofar.com

You may automatically unsubscribe from this list at any time by visiting the following URL:

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Pondering Peeps

What I've Learned So Far...

Pondering Peeps

Well, it's Easter. This weekend commemorates the sacrifice that Jesus made for all of us when he was crucified, suffered, and died for the sins of all mankind, then rose and ascended into heaven. So how do Americans celebrate the holiest event in the Christian calendar?

With Peeps.

For those of you who have been living off-planet, Peeps are those yellow marshmallow chicks that you see at Easter time. And I say, what more appropriate way could there be to celebrate the holy Resurrection than eating cute little baby waterfowl made out of sugar-coated... sugar?

Read On...

Treat yourself to your own personal copy of What I've Learned So Far... Part I: Bikes, Docks & Slush Nuggets. It's like owning a leather-bound first edition of The Complete Works of Shakespeare, only in paperback and a lot funnier.

If you enjoy What I've Learned So Far... and would like to see it in your local paper, just send the editor an impassioned plea and this link to my Web site.

Also, chase all your friends on over to my Web site to Subscribe (it's FREE!), so they can enjoy it too! They'll thank you, and so will I.

- mike

Mike Ball

Author of What I've Learned So Far...
Winner of the 2003 Erma Bombeck Award

Web: whativelearnedsofar.com
E-mail: mike@whativelearnedsofar.com

You may automatically unsubscribe from this list at any time by visiting the following URL:

http://www.jmball.com/dlist/mail.cgi/u/wilsf/

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