A Few Thoughts About Mother's Day
What I've Learned So Far...
Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms! Here is a column from the book:
A Few Thoughts About Mother's Day
All right guys, today is Mother's Day. Yellow alert! Go to DefCon 1!
For those of you who are not familiar with A.D.S.D. (Association of Dads, Sons and Daughters) nomenclature, DefCon refers to situations in which failing to live up to Mom's expectations will result in Definite Consequences.
For example, forgetting to take out the garbage on pickup day might take us to DefCon 4, meaning that a mild scolding is in the offing. Failure to mow the lawn or perform some other assigned task would be considered DefCon 3 infractions, with correspondingly greater consequences, while coming home from Chuck E. Cheese's with one less (or more) kid than we left home with will get us instantly and uncomfortably into DefCon 2 territory.
In the three basic DefCon 1 situations - her birthday, your anniversary and Mother's Day - failure is simply not an option.
Treat yourself to your own personal copy of What I've Learned So Far... Part I: Bikes, Docks & Slush Nuggets. It's like owning a leather-bound first edition of The Complete Works of Shakespeare, only in paperback and a lot funnier.
If you enjoy What I've Learned So Far... and would like to see it in your local paper, just send the editor an impassioned plea and this link to my Web site.
Also, chase all your friends on over to my Web site to Subscribe (it's FREE!), so they can enjoy it too! They'll thank you, and so will I.
- mike
Mike Ball
Author of What I've Learned So Far...
Winner of the 2003 Erma Bombeck Award
Web: whativelearnedsofar.com
E-mail: mike@whativelearnedsofar.com
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posted by Mike Ball @ 1:49 PM
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