Fly the Fiendly Skies

What I've Learned So Far...

Fly the Fiendly Skies

Last week I wrote about my less-than-satisfactory experience as a customer of a major airline that shall not be named (it was Delta). What that experience came down to was that the airline (Delta) basically told me that they had my money, and they dared me to try to get anything in return for it.

The amount of feedback I got on this one suggests that I am far from the only traveler who has been cast adrift in what one reader called the "parallel universe of airline logic." For instance, I learned that most airlines will not pay a travel agency any commission for selling a seat on one of their planes, but they will send them a bill if they should make a mistake doing it. 

So after my less-than-satisfactory experience with that one airline (Delta), we booked last month's New York trip on a different unnamed airline (Spirit) - and we discovered a whole new way to think about the words "customer service."

Read On...

 

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- mike


Mike Ball

Author of What I've Learned So Far...
Winner of the 2003 Erma Bombeck Award

Web: whativelearnedsofar.com
E-mail: mike@whativelearnedsofar.com

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A Few Thoughts About Mother's Day

What I've Learned So Far...

Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms! Here is a column from the book:

A Few Thoughts About Mother's Day

All right guys, today is Mother's Day. Yellow alert! Go to DefCon 1!

For those of you who are not familiar with A.D.S.D. (Association of Dads, Sons and Daughters) nomenclature, DefCon refers to situations in which failing to live up to Mom's expectations will result in Definite Consequences.

For example, forgetting to take out the garbage on pickup day might take us to DefCon 4, meaning that a mild scolding is in the offing. Failure to mow the lawn or perform some other assigned task would be considered DefCon 3 infractions, with correspondingly greater consequences, while coming home from Chuck E. Cheese's with one less (or more) kid than we left home with will get us instantly and uncomfortably into DefCon 2 territory.

In the three basic DefCon 1 situations - her birthday, your anniversary and Mother's Day - failure is simply not an option.

Read On...

Treat yourself to your own personal copy of What I've Learned So Far... Part I: Bikes, Docks & Slush Nuggets. It's like owning a leather-bound first edition of The Complete Works of Shakespeare, only in paperback and a lot funnier.

If you enjoy What I've Learned So Far... and would like to see it in your local paper, just send the editor an impassioned plea and this link to my Web site.

Also, chase all your friends on over to my Web site to Subscribe (it's FREE!), so they can enjoy it too! They'll thank you, and so will I.

- mike


Mike Ball

Author of What I've Learned So Far...
Winner of the 2003 Erma Bombeck Award

Web: whativelearnedsofar.com
E-mail: mike@whativelearnedsofar.com

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Volcanos and swine Flu - The Fun of Flying

What I've Learned So Far...

Volcanos and swine Flu - The Fun of Flying

Everybody knows that the airlines have not been doing that well lately. Between the rising cost of fuel and the ongoing hassles of cleaning up after young Nigerian millionaires with exploding underpants, the industry has been faced with a series of unprecedented challenges.

To add insult to injury, a certain volcano in Iceland (Eyjafjallajokull, whose name is really hard to say for most news reporters; it's pronounced "Xgicxgsrnlglu") recently shut down airports all over Europe and paralyzed air travel world-wide. Of course, most airlines are not compensating the stranded passengers in any way, since a volcano is an "Act of God."

Still, their profits are in trouble. Things are getting so grim that the airlines may eventually have to let the average income of their top executives plunge below three million dollars a year!
 
Funny story:

Last fall I had a ticket to fly to New York on an airline that shall remain nameless (it was Delta). This trip was something I really wanted and needed to do; it was a great business opportunity, plus it would provide me with a chance to recharge my creative batteries, strolling the urine-soaked streets of the greatest (and possibly the most urine-soaked) city on Earth.

Read On...

 

Treat yourself to your own personal copy of What I've Learned So Far... Part I: Bikes, Docks & Slush Nuggets. It's like owning a leather-bound first edition of The Complete Works of Shakespeare, only in paperback and a lot funnier.

If you enjoy What I've Learned So Far... and would like to see it in your local paper, just send the editor an impassioned plea and this link to my Web site.

Also, chase all your friends on over to my Web site to Subscribe (it's FREE!), so they can enjoy it too! They'll thank you, and so will I.

- mike


Mike Ball

Author of What I've Learned So Far...
Winner of the 2003 Erma Bombeck Award

Web: whativelearnedsofar.com
E-mail: mike@whativelearnedsofar.com

You may automatically unsubscribe from this list at any time by visiting the following URL:

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Goodbye Ernie Harwell

What I've Learned So Far...

Goodbye Ernie Harwell

One of my all-time heroes left our world today. Ernie Harwell, the Hall of Fame broadcaster who used his gifts to transform Detroit Tiger games into works of art, passed away today at the age of 92. Here is a column I wrote last year, when Ernie told us all that he had inoperable late-stage cancer, and that he would soon be leaving his wife Lulu and all his loving fans behind.

I moved to Southeast Michigan on a blind date in the Spring of 1975. When I arrived I was a White Sox fan, mostly because I had spent my formative high school years within easy obscenity-shouting distance of Chicago. Back in those days, probably the best thing about our pathetic Sox was a broadcaster named Harry Caray, who was known for saying "Holy Cow!" Harry used this as a fairly transparent substitute for shouting obscenities .

As that first summer unfolded, two amazing things happened more or less reshaped my life. First, Nan and I decided that the blind date was going well enough to get married, which is bound to make a summer stick in your mind, just about any way you cut it. 

Second, I discovered the Detroit Tigers and a baseball play-by-play man named Ernie Harwell.

Read On...

Treat yourself to your own personal copy of What I've Learned So Far... Part I: Bikes, Docks & Slush Nuggets. It's like owning a leather-bound first edition of The Complete Works of Shakespeare, only in paperback and a lot funnier.

If you enjoy What I've Learned So Far... and would like to see it in your local paper, just send the editor an impassioned plea and this link to my Web site.

Also, chase all your friends on over to my Web site to Subscribe (it's FREE!), so they can enjoy it too! They'll thank you, and so will I.

- mike


Mike Ball

Author of What I've Learned So Far...
Winner of the 2003 Erma Bombeck Award

Web: whativelearnedsofar.com
E-mail: mike@whativelearnedsofar.com

You may automatically unsubscribe from this list at any time by visiting the following URL:

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