What I've Learned So Far... Fight the Chill - Fire Up The Grill

What I've Learned So Far...

Fight The Chill - Fire Up The Grill

For Michiganites, January means different things to different people. For some, it means tuning up the skis and heading to a resort for a few days of carefree fun, frolic, and compound fractures. For others, it's off to Florida to bask under a cloudy sky on a 45 degree day, then send smug postcards to the people they work with back home.

But for most of us, it means walking up an icy driveway from the mailbox with our Stupid Winter Hats perched on our heads and skidding past the back door on one heel, clutching a handful of smug postcards from our coworkers in one hand and doing the "windmill prayer" (Oh God, Oh God, Oh God...) with the other.

Read On...

Treat yourself to your own personal copy of What I've Learned So Far... Part I: Bikes, Docks & Slush Nuggets. It's like owning a leather-bound first edition of The Complete Works of Shakespeare, only in paperback and a lot funnier.

If you enjoy What I've Learned So Far... and would like to see it in your local paper, just send the editor an impassioned plea and this link to my Web site.

Also, chase all your friends on over to my Web site to Subscribe (it's FREE!), so they can enjoy it too! They'll thank you, and so will I.

- mike

Mike Ball

Author of What I've Learned So Far...
Winner of the 2003 Erma Bombeck Award

Web: whativelearnedsofar.com
E-mail: mike@whativelearnedsofar.com

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Learnedsofar Message

What I've Learned So Far...

In honor of the almost-blizzard we had last week, I thought I'd reprise this one, originally published in February, 2008.

Snow Days

As some of you know, I have a pretty cool day job at a small library. One of the best things about this job is that when the local schools shut down for bad weather, the library shuts down too.

I get Snow Days!

This means that any time there's a chance of snow on a "school night," I turn into an eight-year-old. I monitor every available weather forecast. I scan the western skies. I subscribe to a 24-hour online school closing advisory service. And then, of course, I do my "Snow Dance."

For those of you who live in Southern California, on Mars, or anywhere else Snow Days never happen, the Snow Dance is a highly personal ritual that can take many forms. My own version of the Snow Dance is performed as follows:

1. Put your pajamas on inside-out and backward.

2. Tape a nickel to a west-facing window, with Thomas Jefferson looking toward Chelsea (watching for the storm). There are those who believe that the nickel must be from the 1960s or earlier, because of the relative purity of the metal.

This is silly superstitious nonsense - any nickel taped to a west-facing window will make it snow.

Read On...

Treat yourself to your own personal copy of What I've Learned So Far... Part I: Bikes, Docks & Slush Nuggets. It's like owning a leather-bound first edition of The Complete Works of Shakespeare, only in paperback and a lot funnier.

If you enjoy What I've Learned So Far... and would like to see it in your local paper, just send the editor an impassioned plea and this link to my Web site.

Also, chase all your friends on over to my Web site to Subscribe (it's FREE!), so they can enjoy it too! They'll thank you, and so will I.

- mike

Mike Ball

Author of What I've Learned So Far...
Winner of the 2003 Erma Bombeck Award

Web: whativelearnedsofar.com
E-mail: mike@whativelearnedsofar.com

You may automatically unsubscribe from this list at any time by visiting the following URL:

http://www.jmball.com/dlist/mail.cgi/u/wilsf/

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2010 - The Year In Preview

What I've Learned So Far...

2010 - The Year In Preview

OK, we've got 2009 behind us. Once again it's time for me to dust off the Ouija Board, lay out the Tarot Cards, gaze at the coffee grounds (I'm not too crazy about tea), get into the old Rum & Eggnog, and let you all in on what's going to happen in the coming year.

January: The University of Michigan football team fails to play in a bowl game for the second year in a row, after 33 straight postseason appearances. Dedicated U of M fans take up a collection to buy second-year head coach Rich Rodriguez a one-way bus ticket to West Virginia. Dedicated West Virginia University fans chip in and buy him a ticket back to Ann Arbor.

February: The 2010 Winter Olympic Games kick off in Vancouver, British Columbia. American bloggers immediately begin to criticize Michael Phelps for not winning a single gold medal. Phelps replies, "I'm sorry for letting you all down. The only excuse I have is that all of my events are in the Summer Olympics."

Read On...

Subtle Hint - if Santa didn't bring you a copy of What I've Learned So Far... Part I: Bikes, Docks, and Slush Nuggets, I know where you can get one!

 

If you enjoy What I've Learned So Far... and would like to see it in your local paper, just send the editor an impassioned plea and this link to my Web site.

Also, chase all your friends on over to my Web site to sign up, so they can enjoy it too! They'll thank you, and so will I.

- mike

Mike Ball

Author of What I've Learned So Far...
Winner of the 2003 Erma Bombeck Award

Web: whativelearnedsofar.com
E-mail: mike@whativelearnedsofar.com

You may automatically unsubscribe from this list at any time by visiting the following URL:

http://www.jmball.com/dlist/mail.cgi/u/wilsf/

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