Santwilight
What I've Learned So Far...
OK, has anybody besides me noticed that Santa Claus is not getting as much attention as he used to get? At Christmas time when I was a kid, you could not throw a candy cane without hitting a fat guy in a red suit and beard. It seemed like every TV, magazine or newspaper ad featured the old boy peeking out from behind a Christmas tree, or holding up a bottle of Coke with a carbohydrate-fueled twinkle in his eye.
What happened? These days all we see are strangely-dressed pre-teen girls doing drumline dance routines, mannequins sliding across the ice in Rockefeller Plaza, and Geoffrey the Giraffe helping some little animated children loot a Toys R Us store. Santa has been all but forgotten.
Well, I've decided to do something about this situation. First, I came to the conclusion that here in the Information Age everybody should know a just little bit more about Santa. It seems logical that if people understand him better, they might like him more.
So I got busy and went to work on the problem with my new BFFs Angela and Jessica, blew off the surfing party on the Indian Reservation, dug around in some books of old Quileute legends, and came to a startling conclusion:
Santa Claus is a vampire!
Hey! Guess What?
The new book is out, What I've Learned So Far... Part I: Bikes, Docks & Slush Nuggets - just in time for Christmas. Order yours today!
If you enjoy What I've Learned So Far... and would like to see it in your local paper, just send the editor an impassioned plea and this link to my Web site.
Also, chase all your friends on over to my Web site to sign up, so they can enjoy it too! They'll thank you, and so will I.
- mike
Mike Ball
Author of What I've Learned So Far...
Winner of the 2003 Erma Bombeck Award
Web: whativelearnedsofar.com
E-mail: mike@whativelearnedsofar.com
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posted by Mike Ball @ 5:52 PM
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